The Light

I always joke with people about how my sanity may be close to gone. I guess the more I think about it, the more I may be telling the truth. I just had what I may classify as one of the most enjoyable weeks of my entire life. Why, you ask? I spent my week in Florida for a wedding. Yes, a wedding. Why did I enjoy it so much? For several reasons. First of all, I got to see some friends that I have not really seen or talked to in years. Second, I didn't have to worry about my job. Third, I had an awesome friend with me. Fourth, I didn't have to worry about anyone or take care of anyone. I guess to some people, this all may sound pretty crazy, so I will start from the top.

I have found that in my life, as much as we definitely come to adjust to our environment, it is very easy to find yourself detached from the world that you used to be a part of. While it may not be dramatically different, the little differences may be the difference between a little and a lot. Of course my life in high school was by no means perfect, nor was it terrible, but it was a part of my life. There are friends that I miss and people that I think about. There is always a certain part of me that will be there, and until this weekend, I think I may have tried to put that aside.

I will definitely say that it was nice to get away from my job. I love what I do, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't carry a certain amount of stress and consume enough of my time that it can become somewhat heavy. I have found that doing a job that you love and have a true passion for is great for productivity, but can be dangerous for your life if you are not careful. Phi Kappa Psi has been influential in the way I have grown throughout college and the short span of my adult life that I have lived thus far. One thing I am realizing however, is that while you may have a certain passion for something, you can not allow that passion to get in the way of your life and who you are. I think this is a problem I often face with both myself and my peers. "Leave the work and take care of 'me' " is the Phrase for today.

One of the most important parts of my trip was my friend. It is nice to have someone around that will be honest with you, be themselves, and accept you for who you are. Their was never a "stop that, you are embarassing me" or a "don't be so stupid". Just fun and acceptance for one another. As much as I would like to say otherwise, that is not something that I find in many people. People always have to be "cool". We don't want to make a fool of ourselves or embarass ourselves. I guess even I can sometimes forget how much fun life really can be and how important it is to just live it. So what if people think you are crazy, as long as you are being somewhat respectful in the process. I love being myself. I guess it is not something I feel like I get to do often while I am working. I can somewhat be myself, but their are always those things that you have to hold back, and sometimes for good reason. You have your work personality and your "life" personality. Unfortunately, due to my job, a majority of my life is spent in "work" mode.

I realize that I worry a lot. I am concerned about other people. It can be annoying sometimes. I am getting better, but I do realize that the best way to avoid worrying about people is to have people around that you do not have to worry about. Be 24. Act your age. It is nice to have people like that around. I have more fun.

In my work, I often tell people that we are only going to get out of our experiences what we put into them. On a larger, much more powerful scale, the same is true for life. We have to live, have fun, and explore. We can't hold back because of what someone thinks or how someone feels. We can't always put ourselves aside for others. Sometimes you have to stand up for yourself and make sure that you are enjoying life.

Sometimes I wonder, at the age of 24, what am I going to figure out next.