Wednesday, September 21, 2005
Sometimes You Just Have To Take A Break
I think I reached breaking point numero uno today. Being on the road has been long. I think it's almost been a month, and I feel like I've done more work than I have in the past year. Sometimes, work can get difficult. I think one of the most difficult obstacles I have faced is seperating the personal commitment with the commitment that I have made to my job. The more and more I think about it, I just laugh.
I think one of my biggest weaknesses is caring about others. I know a lot of people say, "OH, that is not a weakness. That is a good thing." And I agree that it can definitely be a good thing. However, it becomes bad when it begins to apply pressure to you. That tends to be my problem. Of course I realize that what I am doing is a job, but the deeper thought is not that it is a job, but that what I am doing can actually have an impact on someones life. Sure, go ahead and tell me that I am insane to think that a fraternity is that important. I guess my response to that is simply that I am living proof.
A lot of people ask me, why are you doing this job? When are you going to get a real job? To them, I respond, this job is something I have dreamed up. A job where I can help people, not worry about making money, and have a little bit of fun while I am at it. I didn't take this job to goof off. I took this job with the hope of helping men across the country have a positive fraternity experience.
I am not totally sure I would even be here today if it were not for the support and care of my very own fraternity brothers. There have been times when I have felt all alone, not even sure that my family was supporting me. In those times, I can honestly say that my fraternity brothers NEVER let me down. They have been there for some of the biggest moments of my life. I have had exciting moments with my fraternity brothers, as well as angry moments. Most importantly, they have been there during the difficult times as well.
Some believe that a fraternity is about the alcohol. "Oh, it is just a big drinking club that you guys join to try to prove that you are better than everyone else." To them, I say that they are partially correct. Do I believe that I am better than anyone else? No. I believe that we are of equal importance in the world. Some of us may possess talents that others lack, but in the end, I think it all equals out in some odd, mysterious way. Do I hold myself to higher standards than everyone else? You'd better believe I do. I do not believe that I am average, or that their is any room for being average in my life. I believe that average is accepting things as they are. Why do that? If you're not reaching higher, life just stays the same.
I guess to some, this will never make sense. In 2000, I pledged myself to an organization. When I did that, I made a commitment to myself to strive manfully for intellectual, moral, and spiritual excellence. I am not saying that I will ever make it there, but I will continue reaching.
I guess sometimes the commitments that you make can be both a blessing and a curse. I do, however, believe that in the end, I will be able to look back on my life and smile, because what I am doing makes me happy...even through all of the frustration and sometimes anger.
To the fulfillment of these beliefs, of these ideals, in the noble perfection of Phi Kappa Psi, I pledge my life and my sacred honor.
I think one of my biggest weaknesses is caring about others. I know a lot of people say, "OH, that is not a weakness. That is a good thing." And I agree that it can definitely be a good thing. However, it becomes bad when it begins to apply pressure to you. That tends to be my problem. Of course I realize that what I am doing is a job, but the deeper thought is not that it is a job, but that what I am doing can actually have an impact on someones life. Sure, go ahead and tell me that I am insane to think that a fraternity is that important. I guess my response to that is simply that I am living proof.
A lot of people ask me, why are you doing this job? When are you going to get a real job? To them, I respond, this job is something I have dreamed up. A job where I can help people, not worry about making money, and have a little bit of fun while I am at it. I didn't take this job to goof off. I took this job with the hope of helping men across the country have a positive fraternity experience.
I am not totally sure I would even be here today if it were not for the support and care of my very own fraternity brothers. There have been times when I have felt all alone, not even sure that my family was supporting me. In those times, I can honestly say that my fraternity brothers NEVER let me down. They have been there for some of the biggest moments of my life. I have had exciting moments with my fraternity brothers, as well as angry moments. Most importantly, they have been there during the difficult times as well.
Some believe that a fraternity is about the alcohol. "Oh, it is just a big drinking club that you guys join to try to prove that you are better than everyone else." To them, I say that they are partially correct. Do I believe that I am better than anyone else? No. I believe that we are of equal importance in the world. Some of us may possess talents that others lack, but in the end, I think it all equals out in some odd, mysterious way. Do I hold myself to higher standards than everyone else? You'd better believe I do. I do not believe that I am average, or that their is any room for being average in my life. I believe that average is accepting things as they are. Why do that? If you're not reaching higher, life just stays the same.
I guess to some, this will never make sense. In 2000, I pledged myself to an organization. When I did that, I made a commitment to myself to strive manfully for intellectual, moral, and spiritual excellence. I am not saying that I will ever make it there, but I will continue reaching.
I guess sometimes the commitments that you make can be both a blessing and a curse. I do, however, believe that in the end, I will be able to look back on my life and smile, because what I am doing makes me happy...even through all of the frustration and sometimes anger.
To the fulfillment of these beliefs, of these ideals, in the noble perfection of Phi Kappa Psi, I pledge my life and my sacred honor.
Monday, September 19, 2005
What's Your Problem?
What if we only had to deal with the problems that we wanted to deal with. "You have three problems. Pick one. The rest will go away". That would be nice. Better yet, what if you could just ignore your problems and they would all go away. It's something that we have all tried. "I'll just act like I don't have to turn in that paper tomorrow and the assignment will go away". Very few have been successful utilizing that procedure. What if we had to deal with all of our problems, but the answers were all right there in front of us. I guess that always presents its road blocks as well. If we had answers to everything, I guess we wouldn't have much of a problem on our hands.
I've grown from dealing with my problems. And believe it or not, with each day, a new challenge seems to find me. I think challenge is a better word to use. Some challenges not as difficult as others. Some don't require as much thought. Some last for what seems like forever. Other go away no sooner than they appear. Nonetheless, I have grown from each of them.
Sometimes, my initial thought is to just seclude myself from everyone. Hide. Be anti-social. But then when I really stop and think about it, that is only going to bring to me new problems. Problems that I really don't know how to deal with (Could you imagine me being anti-social).
I guess sometimes we just want things to change and for our problems to go away. We can always look at our life and think about how easy things would be without the problems that we all face. But what would we know without our problems? What would we have to figure out?
I guess I am kind of glad that I have problems. That does not mean that I enjoy them or that I want more than I already have. Just simply that I accept them into my life. I've dealt with many things in my short, but eventful life. Some of my problems I never thought I would live through, others I just wanted to end. I've feared being abandoned by my friends, family and anyone else who would come in contact with me. I've feared making the wrong decisions or digging myself into a hole. Somehow, I have survived.
I've grown from dealing with my problems. And believe it or not, with each day, a new challenge seems to find me. I think challenge is a better word to use. Some challenges not as difficult as others. Some don't require as much thought. Some last for what seems like forever. Other go away no sooner than they appear. Nonetheless, I have grown from each of them.
Sometimes, my initial thought is to just seclude myself from everyone. Hide. Be anti-social. But then when I really stop and think about it, that is only going to bring to me new problems. Problems that I really don't know how to deal with (Could you imagine me being anti-social).
I guess sometimes we just want things to change and for our problems to go away. We can always look at our life and think about how easy things would be without the problems that we all face. But what would we know without our problems? What would we have to figure out?
I guess I am kind of glad that I have problems. That does not mean that I enjoy them or that I want more than I already have. Just simply that I accept them into my life. I've dealt with many things in my short, but eventful life. Some of my problems I never thought I would live through, others I just wanted to end. I've feared being abandoned by my friends, family and anyone else who would come in contact with me. I've feared making the wrong decisions or digging myself into a hole. Somehow, I have survived.
Tuesday, September 06, 2005
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