Sometimes You Just Have To Take A Break

I think I reached breaking point numero uno today. Being on the road has been long. I think it's almost been a month, and I feel like I've done more work than I have in the past year. Sometimes, work can get difficult. I think one of the most difficult obstacles I have faced is seperating the personal commitment with the commitment that I have made to my job. The more and more I think about it, I just laugh.

I think one of my biggest weaknesses is caring about others. I know a lot of people say, "OH, that is not a weakness. That is a good thing." And I agree that it can definitely be a good thing. However, it becomes bad when it begins to apply pressure to you. That tends to be my problem. Of course I realize that what I am doing is a job, but the deeper thought is not that it is a job, but that what I am doing can actually have an impact on someones life. Sure, go ahead and tell me that I am insane to think that a fraternity is that important. I guess my response to that is simply that I am living proof.

A lot of people ask me, why are you doing this job? When are you going to get a real job? To them, I respond, this job is something I have dreamed up. A job where I can help people, not worry about making money, and have a little bit of fun while I am at it. I didn't take this job to goof off. I took this job with the hope of helping men across the country have a positive fraternity experience.

I am not totally sure I would even be here today if it were not for the support and care of my very own fraternity brothers. There have been times when I have felt all alone, not even sure that my family was supporting me. In those times, I can honestly say that my fraternity brothers NEVER let me down. They have been there for some of the biggest moments of my life. I have had exciting moments with my fraternity brothers, as well as angry moments. Most importantly, they have been there during the difficult times as well.

Some believe that a fraternity is about the alcohol. "Oh, it is just a big drinking club that you guys join to try to prove that you are better than everyone else." To them, I say that they are partially correct. Do I believe that I am better than anyone else? No. I believe that we are of equal importance in the world. Some of us may possess talents that others lack, but in the end, I think it all equals out in some odd, mysterious way. Do I hold myself to higher standards than everyone else? You'd better believe I do. I do not believe that I am average, or that their is any room for being average in my life. I believe that average is accepting things as they are. Why do that? If you're not reaching higher, life just stays the same.

I guess to some, this will never make sense. In 2000, I pledged myself to an organization. When I did that, I made a commitment to myself to strive manfully for intellectual, moral, and spiritual excellence. I am not saying that I will ever make it there, but I will continue reaching.

I guess sometimes the commitments that you make can be both a blessing and a curse. I do, however, believe that in the end, I will be able to look back on my life and smile, because what I am doing makes me happy...even through all of the frustration and sometimes anger.

To the fulfillment of these beliefs, of these ideals, in the noble perfection of Phi Kappa Psi, I pledge my life and my sacred honor.